Lovely lunch

So, it's the beginning of the month. I run a few errands, pay a few bills. I was with a friend, and we decided to stop for a late lunch. It was a diner that we had passed several times and were curious about. Actually I was in the mood for breakfast, and planned on some breakfast food. But, a sandwich on the menu looked good, and they advertised freshly cut French fries. Ok. Perfect!
So, the table across the room asks the waitress when the food will be arriving. They are the only ones there. Not busy. So, what's the problem? The food arrived so late that they just had it put into boxes and took it with them.
A few minutes later the waitress informs us that they had run out of potatoes. But, the delivery truck had just arrived if we don't mind the wait. We said, no problem.
A few minutes later the waitress informs us the cook doesn't have the time to prepare the fries. What would we like as a substitute? The waitress was so nice. I was trying to remain polite. But, when she offered fried potatoes as a substitute I was a bit confused. Fried potatoes, but, no french fries. Hmmm. Ok. Let's just nod and smile at this point.
Then, horrible sounds began to come from the mens bathroom. Horrible, wretching, I'm dying, sounds. For more than 20 minutes. I suggested maybe someone should call an ambulance? I thought it was a patron. Nope. It was the cook!
So, by this time I've lost my appetite. My friend-who is addicted to bacon-still wanted her sandwich because it had bacon on it. We stayed. We ate. Whether or not I survive the next 24 hours is anyone's guess.

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