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Nickname: latefall

Location: Lancaster (Pennsylvania), USA

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Aug 01 17, 11:54

Mourning for the past

by latefall, (

Today I read the Blog of a woman who came out later in life. She said she was still in mourning for the easier days of living as a straight woman.
I'm used to hearing about how freeing and liberating coming out is, so I was a bit surprised.
She didn't regret coming out. But, now she had to face stares, disapproval, possibly loosing her job, friends, family, etc.
At first she thought maybe it would have been easier to just have lesbian affairs.
By the end of her blog I could appreciate where she was coming from. Coming out is easier for some than others. It's ok to acknowledge that everything isn't all cake and ice cream.
And if one coming out story can help just one other person understand that they are not the only one struggling with sexual or gender identity? Then that makes it all worthwhile.

This blog has been read 117 times.
[Comments]Comments (5)
latefall on Aug 01 17, 20:30

:) Thanks. Me too! 
NerdInPlainSight on Aug 01 17, 20:11

And I want to say I hope you and your dream woman, whomsoever she might be, have many happy years! 

NerdInPlainSight on Aug 01 17, 20:10

I knew I was different at an extremely young age. I had a GF in kindergarten. The first thing I ever kissed, though , was a tree. I was generally a weird kid. Had the concept of asexuality been around in my formative years, I would have embraced it. I came out to a teacher in Jr. High as queer.  

latefall on Aug 01 17, 20:02

I've always been astonished by those who say they always knew, or knew by kindergarten that they were different. I think the difference with some of us is that we've lived more years as straight than not. Not necessarily hiding. For some the awakening is gradual. I
know that for me, personally. I felt like a stranger in a strange land. Probably because there was no one to talk with. I remember thinking, 'I don't know how to be lesbian"!
My biggest regret is that I won't have 50 years to spend with the woman I love. 

NerdInPlainSight on Aug 01 17, 17:26

While I can understand her mourning for the ease of life as a hetero individual, I would posit that the strain of hiding who you are ultimately proves greater than accepting straight privilege and trying to pass. I imagine that she will emerge from the stage of grief into a better place of self-direction and strength. 
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